BTR Cohort X: The Musical

My roommate, Juliet, led several other intrepid members of BTR’s 10th Cohort in producing this cheesy tribute musical to our residency experience. If you’re savvy with some teaching terms, you’ll probably find it funny — though fair warning, it mostly consists of a non-stop stream of inside jokes.

And it probably goes without saying, but this is for fun, not representative of any entity we work for, and definitely very satirical.

And for those of you who can’t get the songs out of your heads (ahem), here is the soundtrack and all the lyrics so that you can sing along!

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We’ll Make Teachers Outta You (parody of “Let’s Get Down to Business” from Mulan)

JESSE:
Let’s get down to business
To defeat the odds
Urban schools are awesome
When you got BTR

You’re the brightest bunch we’ve ever seen
But we’ve got some work to do
Somehow we’ll make teachers outta you

Thirteen months before us
You’ve got grades to keep
CTs give their orders
Don’t forget to sleep

You’re the fly-est, most connected lot
Cohort X, it’s up to you
Somehow we’ll make teachers outta you

BTR RESIDENTS (ALTERNATING):
I’m never gonna catch my breath
Say goodbye to those who knew me
Boy I’m really glad I’m not doing TFA
This rubric’s got us scared to death
Hope that they don’t see right through me
Now I really wish that I knew how to maintain high cognitive demand!

CHORUS:
(BTR)…
We must be quick as we make decisions
(BTR)…
We must force it like a great typhoon
(BTR)…
Making content accessible
With backwards planning you know
You’ll get there soon

JESSE:
Time is racing towards us
till the MCAS arrives
Use your data wisely
And you might survive
You’re unsuited for boring test prep
But assessment is near at hand!
Somehow you’ll find a way
To maintain high cognitive demand!

REPEAT Chorus

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LPD SONG (parody of “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore)

White, white, white, white… (black) white, white, (latina), white white white white

RESIDENTS:
I’m gonna go unpack
we’ve all got privilege from our station
I, I, I’m huntin’ looking for oppression
It’s social location

RESIDENTS (various):
Nah, walk up to the class like, “What up? I got a big diagram!”
I’m so pumped about the Cycle of Liberation, man!
Racism, ableism, it’s so damn costly
And now people always like, “Damn! That’s a sexist comment.”
Rollin’ in, hella deep, teachin’ for democracy
Dressin’ down, ‘cause we’re sweatin’ bullets up in here
Got my ‘Readings for Diversity and Social Justice’ with me
I don’t get what mattress of oppression means,
(Yessssssss)
But shit, she said it ninety nine times! (Map it)

YAMILA:
I see that racist code
You can’t target me no more
I feel contextual
Rich white men are in control
I see that racist code
You can’t target me no more
I feel contextual

[Repeat chorus]

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BLMB (parody of “P.I.M.P.” by 50-Cent)

ANN STERN:
I don’t know what you heard about me
But ya can’t get a holla past me
When my students think I can’t see
I got the motha f***in BLMB

Don’t care what you think about me
But I got some tricks up my sleeve
For behavior managing
I got the motha f***in BLMB

Sup? It’s oozing down to the kids’ level
If you gotta call ‘em out, but don’t ever
escalate…

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 TEACHER’S DREAM (parody of “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry)

JULIE:
You think I’m aggie when I try to ask you “why”
You think I’m forcing whenever I make it hard
I know you want to, so I let it all roll off, roll off

STUDENT:
Before I met you, teachers weren’t listening
I could BS them, but you think I’m sense-making
Wish you’d tell me when I’m right or wrong
Just right, right or wrong!

STU: Cognitive demand is high.
JULIE: Yeah it’s hard, but it’s love.
STU: When I’m wrong, you still ask why
JULIE: Cuz I know you as a learner!

JULIE:
You make me feel like I’m living a teacher’s dream
The way you turn and talk
I listen in, so I can warm call all your
Thoughts and reasoning your thoughts and reasoning
My heart stops, when you raise your hand
Wait time lifts the cognitive demand
Stop and jot, you guys are learning
Don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back

RESIDENT #1:
I’mma get you sense-making with my talk moves on
You’re my teacher’s dream today

RESIDENT #2:
Go ahead and turn and talk with your shoulder partner
You’re a teacher’s dream today…

Chorus (fades)

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GATEWAY (parody of “Glamorous” by Fergie)

YAMILA and ANDREA:
G-A-T-E-W-A-Y it’s the gateway x2

RESIDENT #1 :
From our first class, back in July
When Jesse said he was white
He said get ready for all your at bats
And the gateway…
The gateway gateway

CTEs:
The gateway…

RESIDENT 1
Goals and Principles I mean
Other things don’t mean a thing
CTEs and planning
Shopping for some grading pens
Get your rubric memorized
Got your at bat on rewind
Get your feedback in your mind
Hope that Marcie don’t come by

RESIDENT 2
I still gotta do mine
At bats all right
Cognitive demand is high
I’ll be stayin’ up tonight
Drama with my CT
Conference with my CTE
All I wanna do is sleep
S’up with this intensity?

CTEs:
G-A-T-E-W-A-Y it’s the gateway x2

 




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